Amazing! Loved it!
I especially love how you talk about disciplining with love and empathy. So many people these days think that loving a child means not disciplining. You absolutely need to have discipline, but if done right, it is always done with love. You must teach the rules, but it is totally possible to do it without anger,
You can never discipline when you are mad, you can’t let yourself get out of control with children, ever. That, I think is the hardest part of parenting, especially when they are toddlers.
I love the idea of a “time-in” and I love how you include the option of crying your feelings out in it. I do my time-outs, in the same way. Children often need to cry it out and process difficult feelings, children with challenges (I’ve had quite a few come to me) often get so frustrated that they need to cry, even scream before they can calm down. It is like they are fighting a battle inside their heads, working with faulty wiring that they somehow know is hindering them.
I never try to make them stop or distract from the emotional processing, with the kids I’ve worked with, it’s the most important thing they do to get to the other side of their difficulty. I have noticed a connection between that emotional processing and the rewiring of their circuits. I’ve seen changes happen in real-time with kids after a screaming session.
One child after a 45-minute screaming bout suddenly stopped screaming, rolled his eyes back into his head, and then focussed, lucidly, as I’d never seen before. He acted differently after that, calmer. I am convinced he was fighting an internal battle that was torturing him and he needed the time and freedom to be vocal to resolve something internal. I’ve seen this exact thing happen over and over.
I’ve had kids who’ve been kicked out of other daycares because they scream too much. When they come to me and I give them a safe space to work through their elevated frustration without getting mad at them for needing to be vocal, they eventually over time overcome their challenges and become calm.
I’ve seen it over and over. I’m glad someone else seems to understand the idea of giving a challenged child the safety to work through their frustration.
Not reacting to a child who has issues is very difficult, I only do it for 10 hours a day and then I get to send them home, so I’m not in the same position as someone who has to live with it 24/7. You must be very strong indeed.
I love your approach! Sorry about the long-winded response, I’m just so excited to have found a kindred spirit!