Hi Isak, thank you so much for your insightful and helpful response! So much to unpack.
I love all of your advice and thank you so much for sharing your experiences so honestly. Definitely agreeing to walk away when it’s getting too hot is so important. I love how you’ve installed safety switches into your routine.
I agree with what you say about bickering, I think passive-aggressive behavior is the kiss of death in any relationship.
One thing my husband and I have come to agree on after all these years is that there’s no point in getting too upset when we blow off steam at each other. We’ve learned to forgive and move on pretty quickly. I personally find holding a grudge to be exhausting, especially when I know 100% that my husband is my best friend, the one person who's always had my back and my biggest cheerleader.
Sometimes married people just bug the shit out of each other and get on each other’s nerves, it’s a fact of life. You can’t really escape it. If you live together long enough it will happen.
If we have an actual problem, we figure out the problem and solve it or at least do the best we can. It’s the only way to move forward.
PIP is also great advice, it’s amazing how important words are during a conflict.
I really appreciate your taking the time to write such an insightful, helpful, honest addition to the story. It really continues the discussion.
My opinion is that people need to be more honest and less afraid of conflict. If more people would learn to do it right it would save a lot of grief and fear and probably keep a lot more marriages together.